Monday, August 18, 2008

Warning May Cause Death: Doors

Ever have a bad experience with doors? I know I have countless times - especially those stupid glass ones at hotels. I would keep walking into the glass bruising my forehead over and over. This is why doors may cause death; they're very dangerous. They can whack you in the face for no reason at all - ouch! There are sliding or electrical doors too that you just expect to open, but they won't - thats going to leave a mark. On this one television show, there was this guy that got hit in the face with a door and suddenly had all this girls chasing him. He got tired of all this and eventually kept hitting himself in the face with the door to return to his regular ugliness.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Fantastic Foods - Waffles

Waffles are fantastic and come in circular and squarish shapes - both of which I love. After being cooked in the toaster (my favorite of all appliances) you can top it with anything, butter, mayo, ketchup, blueberries...I think you get the point. It's very easy to eat on the go with being so thin and delicious.

They even have their own restaurant - the Waffle house! Waffle houses are one great thing about America, no matter where you are in the whole United States you can always pull over on the side of the road and be within four-five miles of a waffle house - plus you may meet some great toothless people in there.

Just like toast, you can play Frisbee with it then eat it - I wonder if the squarish one would be good at flying far?

Did you know the waffle has been around since the 14th century? Well, you do now, they used to be called wafers and are extremely similar to what we call a waffle today. Back then, they had waffle makes that imprinted stuff like coat of arms or royal symbols for the richer people in the medieval days.

Go eat a waffle!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Digg'n in the Dictionary - normal (#10)

Normal is my tenth word in Digg'n in the Dictionary found on page 984 of my dictionary.

Normal as stated in the dictionary is "standard; conforming to, regular; free from mental illness."

Well what is considered "normal"?

I personally think nothing can be normal and how could such a word exist in a world with billions of people expressing themselves. I would rather be called anything else, but normal because I'm very random and don't like to conform to everyone else - do they rawr at people in the middle of where shopping is a pleasure? (Publix). Your probably wondering what that was all about so I'll tell you...I was waiting for a very long time to get lunch meat - I hate waiting - and we all had to take numbers and I was like number 89 and they were serving 81 so I just had to do something about this. Well, I "RAWR'd" very loudly and they waited on me very quickly to make sure I wouldn't make an episode. Back to normal, according to the dictionary very few people are normal with all of these psycho people in hospitals and psychiatrists with people telling them their issues. me get this word out of the dictionary and call Webster today.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Random Acts of Randomness - Random Elderly Psycho Woman

Who doesn't like to see people that need lots of psychiatric help? Well, my brother helps out fixing computer stuff at this hospital and went into the top security section (the wackiest people!) of the psycho ward to fix stuff! There was this random awesome psycho woman he encountered, she was about 70 years old and carrying around a cabbage patch doll that was all beat up and kept saying things like "I'm having a baby!" , "Is it going to be a boy or a girl?" repeatedly and never really stopped. So...what do you think is it a boy or girl?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Politically (In)Correct - Hobos

Who doesn't like hobos? We make fun of homeless people but they can be the best of friends at times - if they don't want to con you out of a house. Anyways, they're great...and they happen to be politically incorrect. We are constantly degrading them as a "hobo" - I know this one dog thats name is "Bobo" so it's not that far off. Hobos cannot afford things that we all take for granted, cable TV, the internet, a house. Just walk up to some random hobo and give him/her a cell phone. Yes, a cell phone, you can do many things with it. All in one little device you can call people, go on the internet, watch television and much more. They would be very useful for hobos because they are very easy to carry around without a place to set it down. So...give the next hobo you meet your cell phone and stop degrading hobos. They're awesome!

Do you want some oatmeal?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Useful Nouns - California

Hey people enjoying the pleasure of the internet!

A place that has it all is California - even though I've never been there. You can do it all in California it has the beach, and the mountains - I think. It's flat in one part and all high in the other - how strange, but awesome. Anyways, you swim, surf, and build sandcastles...then drive and meet some hillbillies or rednecks - no offense to rednecks I like the color red. Then after I get some crazy redneck chasing out of the redneck zone I would probably go to Hollywood and pretend to be some random awesome celebrity.

The best thing that could ever happen to me is while I'm on vacation in California is to meet Oprah Winfrey on the beach with a four pronged fork and eat eggs with Oprah. What about you?

Does anyone want a tattoo of your face on my arm? Seriously.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Today at School... - School Excuses

Hey people that go to school...Today I was at my middle school picking up my schedule for my classes and getting other junk you need for the first day. Anyways, I was thinking to myself...Do I really want to waste another year sitting in a classroom when I'm so close to the beach? Eh nope so I came up a few diseases to get out of class that the school nurse won't know about and will definitely send me home or I won't even have to bother to go in the first place. Why not try them yourselves? Here's their names and symptoms:

1. Insignia - You wake up and have a headache, your stomach hurts, your hands are sweaty, your big toe is enlarged and you just don't feel right.

2. Electra - Your tongue is swollen and your throat is dry and you electrolytes are low so you must stay home and drink Pedia-light.

3. Epifani - You had continual nightmares throughout the night and caused you not to get any sleep, woke up in the morning with blurred vision and feeling dizzy and need to stay in bed for the day.

Make sure you space these excuses out because you don't want to have to get checked by the Infectious Diseases Department in your area.

About Today at School...

Hello People of the Internet or the ciberespacio as Spanish people may call it!

This new series is inspired by my school... How boring can class get at times? Well, while I'm in class, and I have nothing better to do then introrse at the teacher, but not listen because she's talking about blah, blah, blah... I can write something random!... So if anything awesome and random happens at school - or while I'm bored at school - I'll be sure to tell you about it!

¡Los viejos miran y olor como pasas! - Translation: Old people look and smell like raisins!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Today Volunteering...

Location: Public Library
Date: August 2, 2008
Subject: Sabrina

Sabrina is always talking about random stuff 'cause she a bit senile and talks about whatever the book is about that she checks-in to the library - and sometimes drops it 'cause theres a spider on the cover.

Despite how busy we were due to the computers program not working for two hours, Sabrina was still lolly gaging and taking to book, as usual. In my county all our branch share stuff we own. Anyways, something from another branch was being checked in by Sabrina and the computer said "Return to CIT." so...Sabrina talked to the book and told him - or her - "You can go home now and be with the rest of the books at CIT." How strange? Does she have some special ability to talk to books or something? I wonder what they converse about.


Note: The names of person(s) in this posting have been changed to protect the identifies of them. All person(s) are considered innocent until proven guilty in the court of randomness! Which is actually a good thing!