In the News...

Don't try this at home, or any other place without a trained professional. ;)

2 Days Ago this tragic event happened.

Eden Parker, the world's oldest woman died at a "young" age of 115 years and 220 days.
Born April 20th, 1893...thats 101 years before me!!
Coincidently, she was in the SAME nursing home as the gigantic 7 foot, 7 inch woman - are you sure one of her parents aren't a giraffe?

Back to the old woman, she is amazing and lived in three different centuries - anybody that lives over 110 years old is known as a supercentenarian (a endangered species of rasien only 89 known to be left on the entire Earth)

So...have your own mini tribute to Eden Parker.
She amazes me!

And here is an awesome picture of her:

First Video Blog

Hey people of the planet that is covered mostly with a giant blue thing, also known as water,

Here is the first of my video blogs.... hope you enjoy. And don't forget to play the moo game!

Random Acts of Randomness - Ticket Eating Old Dude

Hola! I wonder how they say "pigs" in Spanish. Moving on to the Ticket Eating Old Dude...

Well, I was at Publix (The pleasure of shopping.) and was getting provolone cheese ( the proviest!) Anyway, ya'll know those ticket things the deli peoples make you get that are all green and paperish, he had one. I guess got bored then ate it!!! Just sholved half of it in his mouth and bite. Yum Tasty?

Random Acts of Randomness - T.V Hosts I Do Not Like

Dr.Phil - He thinks he has got some sort of magical answer to everything - after all he is not Charlie the Unicorn or anything. I was watching his show the other day and it was about killer texting - which is like killing people and texting at the same time. Anyways, there was a 21-year-old that could drive with her knee while texting. People DON'T text under the influence...everybody know that!?! One word of advice to Dr.Phil - Keep looking for the amulet.

Suzy Orman - She made Oprah's show the worst ever!! She is 56-years-old and looks like she is in college or something. (layoff the Botox) I mean really and she thinks she knows it all about money, too bad she spends it all on her facial skin. Hopefully by the time she is 90-years-old she can have at least one wrinkle on her face, but she is kinda tight in the way she knowns Oprah.

<3 Oprah!

Warning May Cause Death: Doors

Ever have a bad experience with doors? I know I have countless times - especially those stupid glass ones at hotels. I would keep walking into the glass bruising my forehead over and over. This is why doors may cause death; they're very dangerous. They can whack you in the face for no reason at all - ouch! There are sliding or electrical doors too that you just expect to open, but they won't - thats going to leave a mark. On this one television show, there was this guy that got hit in the face with a door and suddenly had all this girls chasing him. He got tired of all this and eventually kept hitting himself in the face with the door to return to his regular ugliness.

Fantastic Foods - Waffles

Waffles are fantastic and come in circular and squarish shapes - both of which I love. After being cooked in the toaster (my favorite of all appliances) you can top it with anything, butter, mayo, ketchup, blueberries...I think you get the point. It's very easy to eat on the go with being so thin and delicious.

They even have their own restaurant - the Waffle house! Waffle houses are one great thing about America, no matter where you are in the whole United States you can always pull over on the side of the road and be within four-five miles of a waffle house - plus you may meet some great toothless people in there.

Just like toast, you can play Frisbee with it then eat it - I wonder if the squarish one would be good at flying far?

Did you know the waffle has been around since the 14th century? Well, you do now, they used to be called wafers and are extremely similar to what we call a waffle today. Back then, they had waffle makes that imprinted stuff like coat of arms or royal symbols for the richer people in the medieval days.

Go eat a waffle!

Digg'n in the Dictionary - normal (#10)

Normal is my tenth word in Digg'n in the Dictionary found on page 984 of my dictionary.

Normal as stated in the dictionary is "standard; conforming to, regular; free from mental illness."

Well what is considered "normal"?

I personally think nothing can be normal and how could such a word exist in a world with billions of people expressing themselves. I would rather be called anything else, but normal because I'm very random and don't like to conform to everyone else - do they rawr at people in the middle of where shopping is a pleasure? (Publix). Your probably wondering what that was all about so I'll tell you...I was waiting for a very long time to get lunch meat - I hate waiting - and we all had to take numbers and I was like number 89 and they were serving 81 so I just had to do something about this. Well, I "RAWR'd" very loudly and they waited on me very quickly to make sure I wouldn't make an episode. Back to normal, according to the dictionary very few people are normal with all of these psycho people in hospitals and psychiatrists with people telling them their issues. So...help me get this word out of the dictionary and call Webster today.

Random Acts of Randomness - Random Elderly Psycho Woman

Who doesn't like to see people that need lots of psychiatric help? Well, my brother helps out fixing computer stuff at this hospital and went into the top security section (the wackiest people!) of the psycho ward to fix stuff! There was this random awesome psycho woman he encountered, she was about 70 years old and carrying around a cabbage patch doll that was all beat up and kept saying things like "I'm having a baby!" , "Is it going to be a boy or a girl?" repeatedly and never really stopped. So...what do you think is it a boy or girl?

Politically (In)Correct - Hobos

Who doesn't like hobos? We make fun of homeless people but they can be the best of friends at times - if they don't want to con you out of a house. Anyways, they're great...and they happen to be politically incorrect. We are constantly degrading them as a "hobo" - I know this one dog thats name is "Bobo" so it's not that far off. Hobos cannot afford things that we all take for granted, cable TV, the internet, a house. Just walk up to some random hobo and give him/her a cell phone. Yes, a cell phone, you can do many things with it. All in one little device you can call people, go on the internet, watch television and much more. They would be very useful for hobos because they are very easy to carry around without a place to set it down. So...give the next hobo you meet your cell phone and stop degrading hobos. They're awesome!

Do you want some oatmeal?

Useful Nouns - California

Hey people enjoying the pleasure of the internet!

A place that has it all is California - even though I've never been there. You can do it all in California it has the beach, and the mountains - I think. It's flat in one part and all high in the other - how strange, but awesome. Anyways, you swim, surf, and build sandcastles...then drive and meet some hillbillies or rednecks - no offense to rednecks I like the color red. Then after I get some crazy redneck chasing out of the redneck zone I would probably go to Hollywood and pretend to be some random awesome celebrity.

The best thing that could ever happen to me is while I'm on vacation in California is to meet Oprah Winfrey on the beach with a four pronged fork and eat eggs with Oprah. What about you?

Does anyone want a tattoo of your face on my arm? Seriously.